The One Where I Earn This Space to Write

The One Where I Earn This Space to Write

It's been a while..  I'm so busy with work and soon will be drowned in many more work.  It's ok, I love working here and all the task is a challenge.  That's what I've learned in the 3 days two night seminar in PD.  It was great, at least I was away from KL for a while.  There's a lot in my mind, a lot of things to think about..

I'm totally lost! That's what my outcome was.  I've lost my sense of direction in life and I'm not so proud of it.  The one thing that kept me going, keep my feet on the ground was my job.  My total stability. 

I've learned that my sense of ignorance will overcome me soon.  I hate this to happen but I can't help it.  At this stage, I will not care about anybody or anything anymore.  That hurts..

Maybe being nice was NOT being appreciated anymore ehhh?

Being nice makes me in a mess..  Being nice makes people takes advantage of me.. Being nice just not gonna be my forte anymore.

To my family & friends, you know who you are.. you'll always have a space in my heart.  The other half of my heart starts to blackened.  It scares the shit out of me.  My emotions are out of control.  My head hurts.

It's just not fair...

Why do I have to face all this?

Scared, lost..  this girl was still beaming

Beaming, smiling to face the world and outside reality

Faith is fading, trust just another word

Believe too much

Being loyal disregard on what had happened

Love rip and torn

Being trade into the dark lairs

Distort my mind

Try to survive, trying to be the best

She has herself, to find that flicker of shine

Save her "Ya Allah"

Show her the way, show her what's hiding, what is stopping

Soul solemly dispossable

She lives.

So long and goodnight, I love you.