teddydeath's junkie

The One Where I Slept at 5.30am

I had a serious discussion with Cinta last nite and it ended in the wee hours of the morning. 5.30a.m to be exact.

My cinta had been thru a rough time in his life right now. All he ever wanted is to be heard. To be appreciated for his capabilities on staging a one man show all this while. He complete what is not completed. He puts himself behind to give way to others. Being a perfectionist, he try to satisfies everyone until he can't cope with the pressure. He falls, FALLS HARD.

He was perceived wrongly by the public. People see him as a rich brat but in reality he's just a normal person, just like you and me, trying his hardest best to make ends meet.

I did asked him something last nite which triggers the serious conversation. I didn't mean to hurt him at all. I didn't. That's what I see. That's what others see. He defended himself with constructive points which makes me look bad at the end. I can't imagine how hard it is to be him. But he still survives. Giving up doesn't exist in his life vocabulary. That's the best quality I have found in him. He's a fighter and he still fights for his rights every single day.

To start back what he have left behind is not that damn easy. It's like woken up from a long coma, trying hard to remember back what had happened and try to continue back where you have left behind. Tell me people, are you willing to fill in his shoes? He has lost a portion of his life. Alhamdulillah, he's gaining to get his strength back and I will support him. I will.

The conversation ends up emotionally, tears start to stream down my face. It was hard. Hard for me to swallow that it happened to the one that I love. It's hard to see him falling. Damn hard :(... At the end of the day, it's up to me to give a little ray of sunshine to end his rainy stormy days. I'll work hard for that :). He deserves to be happy and do what matters to him...

I woke up at 8.30a.m, that's a major lateness to work. Hmm.. so much for my new years resolution ahaks... Today, I'm still in a drowsy state. Woke up with a bad case of diarhea, left me so exausted somehow. So if you see me today with a little frown in my face, it's me basically try my hardest best to stay awake as long as possible.

It's officially 1.10pm right now. I'm signing off. Have a bright shiny day !

The One Where I Put My 1st 2007 entry

heyyyyyy....

Can I just say that I'm back from my almost 1 year vacation? It's been too damn long.. yeah I know.. I've been neglecting my duties to my blog. I've miss my junkie terribly. I've been extremely busy adjusting my my life and my work. Alhamdulillah, I'm doing fine.

There's a lot of things to re-capped. 2006 serves as a memorable year to me. I've experienced a lot of things and I wanna list my TOP TEN unforgettable moment ever. Here they are in order:

10. Being independent:

Never miss to pay my car, insurance, road tax, brothers' allowance, handphone bills, MARA bills and etc..

9. Death in The Family:

May Allah bless their soul. Al-Fatihah.

8. A Long Journey:

Having to drive my car to Melaka twice, it's a personal achievement.

7. Having my 1st Bonus:

It's not much, well I spend it all. Talking about spending frenzy.

6. Too much Politics in the Office:

hmm... how should I start this over-rated sensitive issues. Had a cat fight with one of my collegue cause she had started a rumour on this. The office is filled with too much politics; you have to start to kiss ass to get promoted, it's not healthy at all. I don't want to be sucked in this culture.

5.Doing The Belly Dance:

I was force to join in the arabian belly dance (for the sake of my group) and we have won second place. Thank God for that. Since then I was suddenly became 'Madame Sahara' for all the wrong reasons :(... It was the 1st and the last dancing event that I'll ever participate in. I have to endure constance backpain (daily practise!!) after that...

4. My aunt is a HYPOCRITE:

My mother's youngest sister is a weirdo. She hates me for know valid reasons. One day, I felt really hot and I tend to sleep in her room (which had aircond obviously), she was sleeping so I just crawled on the other bed beside her and sleep. All of the sudden, she began to shout at me saying that I snored so loud that she couldn't even sleep. Tell me people, how do you control your own snoring noise? so I just play dumb and cover my face with the pillow with the intention to reduce the noise. She wakes me up every damn 10 minutes, shouting and blasting cruel words. I change my sleeping position. I couldn't take it anymore when she shaked my pillow non-stop while I was really really sleeping. She was really mean. I went back to my room. I never thought that she could disturbed my sleep like that. Hell, she was blaming on my snoring but hell she was making the most noise. Wankring her sore throat and runny nose. Blowing her guts out on the tissue. Imagine those noises and she blames me that she couldn't sleep because of me??... hypocrite. We haven't spoken since.

3. On and off relationship with my grandma:

She's a wonderful person when she's not that grumpy.

2. Sayang's Fell:

My sayang fell down because of exhaustion and dehydration and had to be hospitalised. He was scared, I was scared, he's whole family is scared too. Alhamdulillah, he's regaining his strength and will be back with "A New Hope".

1. Being Late for almost 4 months to the office:

Ironically the distance of my house and my office is about 10 minutes. Hiihiihih... I'm so getting into trouble over this. My new years' resolution would be, getting to office on time. Period.

May the year 2007, brings me prosperity in health and wealth. I'm so blessed I still have my good and closed friends around :)

Adios people!