teddydeath's junkie

The One Where The Tea Lady Was My Enemy

Hellooo.. it's been one lousy week and I'm so glad it's Friday!

Lots of work and lots of meeting to attend and some people just don't appreciate others.  That's the normal thing in the office nowadays.  Let me entertained you guys with an incident that occur to me a few weeks ago, courtesy of the tea-lady.

There's a tea-lady in my office.  She's in her early 40's.  She serves coffee and tea to all the departments.  She would push her trolley and make her usual rounds, twice a day.  Approximately at 10.30am and 3.30pm.  That's her routine everyday. She never smiles, infact I've never seen her smiles at anyone.  She always puts on this gloomy face.  I don't really know what's her problem.  At first, I thought maybe she's lonely.  I mean serving tea/coffee to 140 people and have to take the elevator concurrently (twice a day!) pushing the heavy trolley to every department, it's a boring job.  Everytime she came into my department, I try to appreciate her effort by smiling and greet her.  Refill my mug with hot tea and say thank you.  Her tea was always extra sweet but hey I can always pour hot water to make it suitable for my likings.  No problem at all.  That's my usual routine  almost everyday since I started work in May.

Then the dreadful day came.

My mug slipped from my hand when I washing it.  It breaks into pieces and I have to throw it away.  So I was mugless.  And I forgot to bring another one from home.  She was making her usual rounds in the evening, and at that particular time I was thirsty.  So I went to her trolley,  there's a compartment there where she kept extra plastic cups.  So I pull the compartment drawer pull the cup out and then... I feel someone grab my hand, hard..

T-Lady:  Apa awak buat? (What are you doing?)

Teddy:  Saya lupa nak bawak cawan. (I forgot to bring my mug)

She pull the cup away from my hand, put it back in the drawer and close it.  At this time I feel awkward and very weird.

T-Lady:  Gelas nih untuk budak sales.  Jangan ambil. Nanti tak cukup cawan. Guna gelas department sendiri. (These cups are for the sales rep.  Don't take it.  It's not enough.  Use your department's mug)

Teddy:  Sori Kak.(I'm sorry)

I was so thirsty.  So I took Kak Zura's mug (she's on maternity leave).  The handle was broken, but it's still good.  So I fill the mug with tea to quench my thirst. 

Then I saw a guy in my department, open the drawer and took the plastic cup, fill it with coffee in front of my eyes.  In my astonishment, she just stood there.. DOING NOTHING.  He was NOT a sales rep.

WHAT THE FUCK??

I feel like someone just slapped me in my face.  The tea just taste awful for my likings now.  I don't feel like drinking right now.  How could a person do that??  I was being nice to her all this time and this is what I get in returned??  I just don't understand.  Fuck I don't.

These kind of attitude makes me sick. I told my collegue about it and they say that she has an attitude problem, it happened to them before.  Huhh??  It's been going on for years and nobody complaint?

If I was born and raised to be a cruel person, I would just report straight to HR.  But my mom and dad raised me to be a responsible and considerate person.  I think about her feelings and family first.  She doesn't earn a lot and I don't want to be the one who pulls her bread and butter away.  It's not fair to me as I was being treated like shit but this time I will spare her. 

Since that day, I don't take any drinks from her trolley anymore.  I think it's better for me to spend RM1.30 for a drink rather then being treated like a beggar.  I can't tolerate with this kind of ugly behaviour.

So long and goodbye tea lady.  You won't get far with that attitude.

Thank you.

The One Where We Are On Top of The World

It's been one heck of a weekend.  The weekend where I was looking forward to a nice sleep and relax.  Well,  it didn't work out the way I've plan. (It's always like that one-lah!)

My brother celebrated his 19th birthday on Saturday.  Happy birthday to you, may Allah bless you.

Been in an awkward situation thru the weekends.  Sumthing unexpected, sumthing fresh and sumthing challenging.

Been with CINTA the whole weekend.  This time it was rare-relatively different.  We were all out following our heart.  This is our choice. 

Let me enlightened you with our adventure part by part.  It's our roller coaster video-clip of life.

------------------------- ------------------------- ------

PART1: 

The journey of this story started out sour as I was scolded for being so selfish.  Yes, I admit I was being one.  I want him all to myself.

"I think I have all the rights to be friends with anyone.  I'm not attached yet.  I'm not ready for comittment.  My total focus is my career."

He needs a plan.  Unfortunately, he had no choice but just to follow what I had to offer.  There he was reluctantly can't decide because I've make the wrong choices.  All I want for him is to be safe, but he's unhappy with my decisions.  It was probably the biggest mistake I've make. Holding his freedom.  I'm sorry.  It's my fault.  Damn,  it's my fault.  I didn't sleep at all that night. Very confused and very much worried. My mind was tired. I forced myself to sleep for approximately 1 hour.  Everything was mighty blurry.  Had shower, had to move fast before anyone wakes up. ------------------------- ------------------------- ------

PART 2:

" dibalik segala duka tersimpan hikmah,yg bisa kita petik pelajaran
dibalik segala suka tersimpan hikmah, yg kan mungkin bisa jadi cobaan"------------------ ------------------------- --------

PART 3:

"Sayang, we have to go".  Driving with a good purpose.  To get away from it all.  Cash is running out fast.  Hold on to trusty Touch & Go.  We started our aimless journey.  It's a BIG step.  ------------------------- ------------------------- -------

PART 4

It was crazy and very much an unthinkable act.  The long winding road.  The cold breeze.  The journey.  It all make sense.  After leaving what we had encounter earlier, we were happy heading to a new profound glory.  The mood was different.  It feels like taking a break from life for a while.  Just being free and be with the one we love.------------------------- -----------

PART 5

Last night we was feeling like we were on top of the world.  Just the two of us strolling around hand in hand in a strange new place. The loud sounds of machines does not bother us one bit.  Nobody cares about anybody. The cool breeze + perfect atmosphere.  We were definitely free. Our mind and soul are free, surrounds by the freshest air ever.  The moment was ours. "If we have a time machine,  we'll go back to this moment".  It's our 9-11 moment. ------------------- ------------------------- -----

PART 6:

Something came up, we have to leave this beautiful place.  It's a sad thing to do. We are so trapped in a paranoia universe. Phones were bombarded with calls and messages. It's an uneasy feeling. Very2 uneasy. It's complicated. Please don't ruin this. It's been a while I haven't been this happy. "Don't say it's OK when it's not". "Then, what am I supposed to say?" . "Relax, eat and we will think about it". "Sometimes, to be with the one that you love you have to make difficult choices.  You have to make sacrifice".  Loose some win some situation.  We have to leave, but we are still together. nothing beats that at all. ------------------- ------------------------- ------------------------- -

PART 7:

As we leave, he holds my hand and sings this to me.

MATAHARI..MENYINARI SEISI BUMI …
SEPERTI ENGKAU...
MENYINARI… ROH DIDALAM JASADKU INI…
SELAMANYA… SEPERTI HUJAN ….
KAU BASAHI JIWA YANG KERING

REFF : HIDUP INI INDAH….BILA KU SELALU….
ADA DISISIMU SETIAP WAKTU….
HINGGA AKU HEMBUSKAN NAFAS..
YANG TERAKHIR…DAN KITA PUN BERTEMU

KAU… BAGAI UDARA YANG KUHIRUP
DISETIAP MASA.. ENGKAULAH DARAH
YANG MENGALIR DALAM NADIKU....REFF

MAAFKANLAH SLALU… SALAHKU
KARNA KAU MEMANG PEMAAF
DAN AKU HANYA … MANUSIA... REFF

.. HANYA KAU DAN AKU..DALAM AWAL DAN AKHIR..

p.s: beautiful, meaningful, fresh from the heart.  thank you sayang.------------------------- ---------------------

PART 8: 

The saddest part was leaving.  It tears up everything up.  We have to be strong.  First time, I've ever drive that far, ALONE.  He gave me strength to do the impossible.  Amazing.------------------------- ------------------------- ------------------

PART 9:

Alhamdulillah.  I arrived home in one peace.  Driving alone at night was a scary experience.  But I overcome it.  I'm proud of myself.------------------------- -------

PART 10:

To Whom It May Concern,

I'm so sorry I make both of u worried yesterday.  I'm sorry.  I was late.  Please trust me.  I didn't do anything wrong.  It's my choice and I'm taking full responsiblity of it.  I have to face this as an adult.  I never had the intention to hurt anybody.  I'm straightening out my life.  Trust me and support me please.------------------------- ------------------------- ---------

THE END 

The One Where Everything Began To Calm

"NEVER GIVE UP ON THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE. LOVE IS SO INCREDIBLY POWERFUL."

A beautiful friend send me this phrase a while ago.  It reflects everything that I believe in.  It makes my eyes all teary, (I'm such on an emotional roller coaster nowadays).. too fragile to think.  It's the best phrase I ever got this week.  It meant a lot.

It breaks my heart to see my love in an unexplainable condition.  Bad things are happening almost everyday, like falling into some kind of curse.  He looks so thin and frail, dark circles starts to form around his little eyes, flaky lips and piraty teeth. He reminds me more of a teeny version of Jack Sparrow. I could feel the bumps on his spine and it's poking thru his skin, that's not healthy. I've never seen him in this kind of condition before. He looks lifeless and weak. I try not to cry in front of him, I don't want to add up his sorrow.  I want him to be happy when he sees me.  Nuthing else.  He needs my support and he has my dedication.  He's gone thru a lot and he's still standing and bravely lift his spirit up to keep his dreams alive.  What ever condition or form he is in, I DON'T CARE, he will still be the man that I love all this years. Enough said. 

Been so tied up with work, participating in exhibitions and such.  My mind is more focus on work and thankfully I love what I do.  This is a very tired week and I'm looking forward to relax and sleep this weekend.

Hmm.. my aunt will board the plane and travel to Eastern Europe tonight.  May she have a save journey.

My Willy Wonka sends me a nice testi today.. thank you so much :)

Have a nice weekend and happy Friday!

p.s:  I sayang you.

The One Where I'm No Where

Heyaa..  it's Monday morning and I'm feeling like I'm the MOST fragile person ever.

I could NOT afford to think about negative thoughts right now 'cause I will break down easily.  I could NOT afford to be UNHAPPY 'cause it will tear my heart apart.  I could NOT afford to be misunderstood 'cause I know I will only hurt myself.

Imagine waking up everyday and feel very weak. I need to be fed by happy thoughts all the way.  I need to focus on something to keep my mind away.  Keep in mind that I don't use any kind of substance to keep myself occupied,  I'm fighting with my emotions that's slowly beginning to control myself.  I'm happy that I have this stable job that keep me busy. And that's good as I'm very dedicated in whatever things that I do. And I'm very, very much thankful about that. 

Gladly, I can detect my weakness early and I can find my cure.  I'm aware on what I'm doing and alhamdulillah I'm still here, writing eagerly on my blog.

Thank you for another day, thank you sunshine. :)