teddydeath's junkie

The One Where I Think I'm On my Own

I was the one who waits as he needs the time away,  I was the one who's loyalty was not appreciated,  I was the one who's being so honest.  I was the one who love to much.  I was the one who feels dumb at the end..

I'm still waiting, my patience is really high.  Thank god for that. 

I'm thinking hard now, I had to let go the things that I love slowly.

The One Where I Have To Face A F**king Sales Rep

Had a very very bad day today...  I was being shouted and humiliated by a so-called-collegue and he was a sales rep in my company.

I was in the IT Department at about 10.30 am this morning and I had a discussion with a really nice guy from Singapore.  He was explaining to me about some stuffs on the new implemented server that I have to work on because I was the Product Owner of the Internet Website of my company.. (woohooo.. I'm a Product Owner now...)

After the discussion, I went over to the System Analyst workstation (as I usually do nowadays) to discuss with him the current state of our company's website and try to enhanced a few stuff.  As we were in a discussion, one fucking Sales Rep came to me and the story of hell starts here:

Fucking Sales Rep:  Hey.. Can you give me the rates of the advertising banner for the main page?.. I have to an appointment with a client at 3pm and they are interested in buying our ads...

(Fucking Sales Rep was pointing at his watch)

Teddy:Ohh about the rates right?.. I haven't got any approvals from the management yet so the rates is NOT officially out and I can't give you the rates by today.

(Fucking Sales Rep starts to look at me impatiently)

Fucking Sales Rep: Come on lah... just give me the rates..  I have an appointment you know...  I need to sell things mahhhh...

Teddy: I know...  But I'm sorry I can't give you any information today as I have to revised all the rates because I'm still new and I'm NOT so sure.  Maybe I could have a discussion first with you and Mr.J and Mr.S and we will work out together.

(He started to raise his voice at me and putting a stupid show with his gestures)

Fucking Sales Rep:  Aiyahhh.. why you need me for.. I'm just a Sales Rep.  I sell things NOT to sit down and discuss.  It is NOT my job.

Teddy:  As I said, I do not have the rates.  Then you just have to wait.

Fucking Sales Rep:  You marketing people ahhh...  aiyahhh.. sooo problematic one you know...  I got an appointment.  I can sell those banners for RM 15 to RM20 K you know.. all I need is the rates.

Teddy:  Sorry I can't help you until I have the approvals from the management.

Fucking Sales Rep: Aiyahh...  you know ahhh.. If we were in a war ahhh.. People are fighting with guns and bomb.. and we ahh.. we only have sticks you know...

(he was demonstrating walking like a blind person with a cane now... pathetic......)

This time the System Analyst budge in

System Analyst:  You know there's not many people in her department.  They need our support and help.

Fucking Sales Rep: No people ahhh??.. She people what?? (this time he points at me)... Miss Z people what??..  aiyahhhh... problem...  they can do what??

Teddy: Can't you understand what I'm trying to say?..  I can't give you anything today.

Fucking Sales Rep:  You know ahh this all online.. that means it available lohhh for everyone to see and to sell.  How can you change the website and can't think of the price??.. aiyahhhhh

(And at this time I was starting to raise my voice)

Teddy:  We've just change the look and feel of the website last Monday.  We are still in a process of updating all the contents and I'm preparing the proposal for the new rates for the management. Can't you understand what I've been trying to say to you from beginning???  I can't simply give you the numbers because I'm responsible for my products.  I don't want to regret later.  Sorry!.

Fucking Sales Rep:  Aiyahhh.. you and your department ahhh.. troublesome only...

(He walks out from there)

At this moment I feel so down..  I have been verbally attack in other department.  (can you feel the tense that I am feeling??)

Yes, I do feel humiliated.  Humiliated because these kind of people exist and shitting on other innocent people.  I'm so humiliated because I have to work with him and face his fucking face every damn day. 

He was proudly shouting on how good he was in selling things.. and downgraded my department.  He thinks that my department was useless.. ohh he's damn wrong. 

Luckily for me, the System Analyst guy was by myside all the time and I do thank him for backing me up most of the time.  (eventhough in the conversation I didn't put him much.. but he's there and he's backing me up).  Everyone else was chicken out and just gave him the wry smile.

I'm so damn pissed off... I was NOT in a mood to stay there anymore.  So I went back up to my department.  I was so pissed off and I need time just break away for a while.  Told some of my collegues about it and they say that maybe he was being pressured by his boss and yeah he's income comes from the sales that he make.. 

BUT

He was insulting my integrity and my work. 

And I do think that he has NO DAMN RIGHT wutsoever to do so. He made a very HUGE mistake.  Who asked him to make an appointment with the client?  Who asked himI would NOT tolerate with this kind of people.  If it happens again, I will go straight to HR to report his behaviour.  They don't deserves any chances at all.  They are the SCUM of the universe.

The head of IT came to see me later that evening and said to me that it was unethical thing that he did to me.  She was pissed of too because she was not at the scene when the thing happened. 

hmmm....  I was alright.. and my mind was clear up..  I have good support from my department. 

The things that I've learnt today:

I have to learn and cope with this kind of unethicalities in the office cause I will never know, maybe there's a chance that I will meet another person who is more fucking terrible than him.

p.s: May he burn in HELL :P..

The One Where Mommy Drove Me To Work

My mommy drive me to work today and she asked me a few questions about my love life (hmmm.. do I even have one right now????)...  Only God knows.  The conversation was short and it goes like this..

Mommy:  What happened to your boyfriend?..  Haven't heard anything from him for a while...  Did he ditch you?...  Why don't you get a NEW boyfriend?

Teddy:  He's just way too busy with his new projects. (What I SHOULD have said:  He's like Houdini.. expert in dissapearing act. He breaks my heart by doing that.  I should find someone else right mommy?  My little shine that will brighten my grey skies...)

Mommy:  Ohhhh.. I thought he's gone.

Teddy:  He's still here. (What I SHOULD have said: I love him too much mommy.  All I wanna do is be with him no matter what happens.  I have to be EXTRA strong.)

See.. how near my office is from my house...  There's nuthing much to talk about.  But it left me with a headache. 

Have a nice Wednesday everybody!

The One Where I had an Interesting Tuesday

hiyee.. it's been quite a while.  I'm just too busy with work and preparing for the Sales Seminar this August.

hmmm...  it's 3.40pm and I've been hearing all kinds of pregnancies tips and stories since 3.00pm..  ahaks..  I'm NOT the one who is pregnant, NOT yet by the way, so no worries ehh.... :)

there's this cute pregnant lady in my department and she's very eager to be a mother...  she's due late next month.  If you look at her from the back, she looks like an un-pregnant person.  She had this tiny-tiny cute tummy as she says that her baby is very small.  She was sharing her anxiety of becoming a first time mother with another collegue and she's asking all the survival and necessary tips for her "pantang" days.. 

I was VERY near to them so I could not help but just hear everything that they discuss.  It was interesting.. VERY INTERESTING.. it covers up everything from the techniques and the art of giving birth until the way to get in shape again...

It was informative I might say...  an interesting Tuesday evening

Take care

The One Where I Receive My Shine

The One Where This Picture Depicts My Emotion

This picture is worth a thousand words...

It's where I am right now...  drown in my own sorrow..  hide behind the mysterious clouds...  very lost in the mist of shadows... pain, heartbroken, unsatisfied... disbelief, truth please come upon me...  in a gleam of my eyes.. I feel EMPTY, LOST.. you take my sunshine away..  it crawls deep inside me.. I'm blinded by my sould..  I'm blinded by my heart..  It's dark.. it's dark... I'm breathless..  what I need... is a guided light.. to free me from this darkside...  trapped, cold and insane...  this moment breaks me even more....  my heart beats for one li'l shine...