teddydeath's junkie

The One Where I Tender My Resignation

Yup.. the title says it all.. I did tender my resignation today...  Never thought I would do this...  but it's the only way to move ahead with my life.. I got a new job as a Multimedia Executive with another company..  starts early May... I'm all excited..

at last I'm going out from my so-called coccoon... 

opportunities are coming on my direction..  I have a PTD course this coming 22 April 2005 in Sg Petani.. I'm all excited about that too...  I hope everything will go smoothly..

sheshhh which is better: being a PTD or a Multimedia Exect???  My head hurts just thinking about it.... 

Mr Airil: PTD laaa
Mr Airil: cerah masa depan!

well.. insyaallah if I passed my PTD interview.. I'll go for PTD...  if not I'll stay with the Multimedia Exect post...  either way, I'm happy :)

May Allah show me the way....  I'm so thankful that Allah had given me the chance to further my career advancement..  I'm so thankful

The One Where The Backstabbers Are Among Me

Today I feel really.. really awkward...

The day starts as I got a phone call from a HR Personnel from other company (been to an interview a couple weeks back....)..  I succeed.. Got the job... I was soo thrill.. Then bummer... it starts this coming 1st April... I have like one week to think about it.. sheshhh.. I'm so in a dilemma... have to give one month notice to my boss... arghhhhh....   

Called my mom.. asked her opinion.. she asked me back " Do you REALLY want this job?".. hell yeah.. been praying to get out from here for a long time...  so she decided that we discussed this with my dad (he's in Johor by the way)... we had a 3-way conferrence, my parents and myself.. thanks to the technology.. these type of communication can be done; whereby 3 people from 3 different location can talk silmutaneously.

Dad asked me to accept the offer but he does said that it's NOT fair to leave my current company in such a hurry.. without giving a 1 month notice... he says that I have to follow the office ethics & protocoal.. so he asked me to call the new company and discussed with them about the 1 month notice thingy and accept me after that period was over..  Maybe this is the right thing to do...  Leaving early was not the answer...  There's so many things that I have to take care of.. a lot of things...

I'm NOT gonna leave before finishing what I have started.. Those students of mine.. arghhh...  I should make sure that everybody finished up their work and portfolios.. those are the important elements to get them graduated...

Found out sumthing bad today also.. been hearing this rumours for quite sometime.. maybe I discuss this next time...

Take care 

The One Where My Grandma Cleans MY Room

I'm sooo damn pissed off last night..

Came home and I found out that my grandma had "clean" up my room.. some people would think that this is a GOOD thing but for me last night I feel traumatised...

The "clean" terms refers to:

1. Organize my stuffs neatly (now I don't really know where IS where)..


2. Arrange the furnitures/boxes (previously there's a bed that covers the wall but now that space is empty... I'm scared looking at the wall at night...)


3. Rearranging my clothes ( I did put my work cloth and my normal shirt and jeans on 2 different sections.. now it's all mixed up)


4. Store all the papers/notes and magazines (hell.. I don't really know where my resume's is right now)


5. Throws all the "junk" (those junks are my memorabilia's.. those movie stubs, those concerts flyers...ouchhhhhhh)

Damn...  feel like my privacy has been invaded.. I feel so sad.. can't describe it.. It's my room..   I know where everything is perfectly.. I know.. because I make my room that way...  I love the way it feels.. the way it looks.. if it's a pigsty or messy..  hell wut...  it's still my comfy room.. 

Stayed in my room last night... the feel had changed almost immediately... had NO MOOD to do anything.. I did ask her NOT to clean my room.. I did asked her.....  why can't she leave my room alone???...

Yes... she's doing a great deed.. (I should be thankful??) she helped me out and clean my room...  BUT honestly I hate it... she should asked me first...  yeah of course I'd say NO... she wanted to surprised me...  I don't want any surprises...  those boxes in my room are damn heavy and she lifted everything by herself.. even the bed and the mattress... and she's like 89++.. she feels that she's still strong...  unfortunately she's not... she's very tired..

this morning she asked me why didn't I come down for dinner yesterday... I just gave her a wryly smile... I could not look at her face...  sheshh.. it's happening again.. it's all tense.. every moment seems so wrong...  maybe this morning she wants me to say thank you and hug her for all her hard work...  I'm a heart-headed-egoistic-foo l.. I refused to have any kind of conversation with her... cause I know that I would scream.. i don't want to hurt her feelings..  I feel that the best thing to do was to keep quite... let my temper cools down.. maybe tomorrow I talked to her again.... 

I have a "history" with her whereby I didn't talk to her for almost a year... I really don't want that to happen again..  I've been to a stage where I cried every night before I go to sleep..  I don't want to go thru those sappy sad moments again.. my head hurts...

Today, before I left for work I just have the tendency to lock my room.. maybe that's gonna be my routine from now on....

The One Where I'm Stuck To MOTAS

MOTAS (The Mystery of Time and Space) is a very very cool "clicking" game... sheshh... I've spend almost 2 days playing it and yes proudly to say that I've finished up the game until Level 13.... wowee.. I was so addicted to it.. challenging and fun...

I recommend this game to everyone....

so why don't you guys check it out by clicking here --> http://www.albartus.com/motas/" title="http://www.albartus.com/motas/" target="_blank"http://www.albartus.com/motas...

share the love of MOTAS around...

Back to REALITY

My brother had involved in motorcycle accident yesterday.. luckily he wasn't badly hurt.. thank God for that.. he had bruises on his face, shoulder and leg... he was supposed to be in a photography session today.. arghhhh.. life seem funny sometimes..  things happened when you least expected...  he's resting at home and is getting better.. Thank you for all the concern calls.. appreciated it..

Heard today that Mario quits American Idol.  He said something came up and he has to do this, it's a personal thing... and it opens a new opportunity door to Nikko Smith.. I'm all excited about this new season of American Idol.. my votes are out for Anwar and my mom adores Constantine so much... good luck to all contestants..

Till tomorrow peeps...

p.s: I'm keeping my life under wraps right now.. nothing personal...  I need some time to think...

The One Where I Got Thru The 1st Phase

I feel weird... got thru the 1st phase of being a PTD (Diplomatic Officer I think....) ...  am I a PTD material???... ahaks... gee.. I still can't believe I got thru... my mommy's friend is a PTD and her job takes her all over the world... that was cool... I would really like to do that... never got the chance to travel anywhere these days...  this should be a good kickstart to my career... I hope so...

I took the exam at UIA.. and I have to sit for 5 papers from 9am till 6pm with thousands of other candidates from all over the country..  ranging from the ages of 22 until 45 years of age... it was the weirdest exam I've ever participated in...hihihiihhi.. having exams with older candidates is a new experience for me....

it was a non-stop exam... I was really tired... and the questions... god... it was like torture... it was really hard.. I did study for the maths section and the general knowledge too (yeah.. they do have maths!!!!!)... the question was like "When did the Commenwealth games in Hamilton City, Canada held ?".... huhhh... I was left dumbfounded for a while... that was one sample of the exam question... sheshhhh... I have to complete 2 essays, one in English and one in Bahasa Melayu... I haven't written anything in BM for quite a long time.. so for me it's really hard to compose a 300 words essay...  sheshh... where do I start?.. I forgot everything... I'm totally lost and never expect anything from this exam... cause I think I did badly...

But hey.... What can I say??... the results say otherwise... I DID IT....

For now... I'm just happy that I got thru.. it's some sort of a birthday gift..  I'm proud of myself.. and I'm so freaking scared of the next stage...  wish me luck guys....

The One Where I'm 25 and Still Going Strong

heyaaa... I'm officially 25... yup 25 and one day to be exact... yesterday was quite ok... the day went pretty well.. i'm loving each moment of it.. so let see what did I get this year... hiihihihih

My Aunt gave me this comfy sandal.. Thank you.

My mommy gave me this cool bag. Thanks mommy.. love it

My mom send me this e-card...

A good friend wish me!

My dad called in last nite to wish me.. it was cool.. can't wait for him to be home this weekend.  Ohh yeah.. plus I've got a job interview this coming Friday and I'm so excited.  Wish me good luck yeahh...............   

I'm 25 and yeah I'm going strong... 

The One Where I Turn 25

hello... hello.. hellooo... Happy Birthday To Me!... alright peeps... I turn 25 today.. I don't feel awkward.. I feel great... It's like a normal day to me

Nobody calls me up at midnight to wish me...  that's a blunder.. wish someone had done that... but heck.. nobody does... not even one sms.. not even one...  I woke up feeling lonely... and weird... weird that I feel that no one bloody cares.... feel like it's just another day.. another day to take my bath.. just another day to go to work... sheshhh... yeah I'm NOT a kid anymore to expect tons of presents and surprises... I don't need that I guess.. but a li'l effort to cheer me up is all I needed...

So there I was down the stairs.. even my mum didn't wish me.. I'm surprised..  maybe she think I'm too old for all those wishes... she just looked at me and say "Do you want to take the cake to the office?".. I said no.. I'll bring the cake on Friday where Alang and I will celebrate it with our collegue...  well my mum had the effort of making the cake right??.. that counts a lot.. thanks mommy.. I love you

Then I arrived at the office... Alang was the first one who says the magic word... "Happy Birthday Cam".. it make my day.. just perfect.. then I had multiple bithday wishes on my YM.. it's from Nazri, AK, Nina, Yus, Mr. Moss and Atun... it was wonderful.. Aziah sms me my birthday wishes.. she's been my bestfriend since I was in standard 2. that means a lot to me... really a lot.. she's in Alor Star right now... she once came to my house 3 years ago and celebrate my birthday.... it was cool.. then Kak Jun sang to me loudly in the pantry which was funny... it was fun.. my students gave me presents.. it was unexpected.. cause I'm NOT a favourite lecturer here.. Alang is... well... thank you sweeties...  u make my day....

hmmm....  I had a disturbing reality when one of my closes friend post me a comment

» the guy who have no job.... [outside user] Tuesday 03.08.05 [12:37 am]

wanna know what i think? frankly speaking, the whole "i'm-hurt-somebody-please -save-me-but-i-DO-hope-it 's-him" scenario will come into play again if he does what he said he's gonna do. sorry to say that.

oh yeah, happy birthday.

my heart cracks up open...  it's a painful truth that I have to swallow..  I know u mean well.. I know that... thank you for still being here from afar...  listen.. I trust my heart..  I know what I'm doing.. this is the path that I choose.. I have no regrets whatsoever..  If I die now.. I'm happy..  Happy that God give me a chance to spend my time with the one that I love.. I'm not a saint..  But I know what is right and what is wrong.. like u always said, "Lantaklah apa korang nak buat asal you tahu apa yg u buat.."...  I'll keep that in my mind...  

I wanted to be with him since the beginning...  I will preserved what I have now... I don't care what people say...  I don't give a damn..  "If ada jodoh I terima.. if takder I can't do anything about it".. talked about effort.. I've done everything to make this work... I've toned down my ego to learn and understand him..(it's hard to swallow my own pride).. if it's still doesn't work then.. I've nothing to say.. I've done my best... I took care of him.. 

It's hard being in love.. it's hard to keep one alive..  to spend ur whole life with just one person.. that is the challenge as u have to accept the good and the bad side of a person..  love will conquer all yes with the help of monetary system too... that's a fact..  

Truthfully, I don't know with whom I will end up with... but for now it's him I'm counting on... we've never talked about marriage yet..  for this time being he's not ready...  he's building up his musical career..  it takes a lot of time... patience is my virtue... it's a critical time whereby his time is limited and I have to be understanding...  Hopefully&nbs p;faith will be on my side.. this is what I want.. for us to be ended up together.. I'm proud to be 25 today & I'm NOT looking back.. 

The One Where It's The Eve Of My B'day

heyaaaa... I admit that it's been so freaking long that I haven't wrote anything in my blog..  I'm miss my blog so much... hmmm.. my busy schedule does contribute to "my missing in action" blog... hiihih

well I'm back.. it's Monday.. and it's a special one... It's my b'day eve.. I'm gonna be 25 tomorrow.. the BIG 25... I'm a bit sceptical of turning into one though.. I've heard many stories of people when they turn 25.. I mean they do say that 25 brings a lot of changes into ur life... I'm scared.. It's like I do not know what to expect.. and what to come

soem say that 25 brings them good luck while others say it was the year of turbulence.. sheshhh.. I don't know what will happened to me.. I do pray to God that, just make me and my family save... that's all I'm asking

Been with my CINTA from Sunday morning till late...  we had pizza (early birthday dinner) and we were watching concert dvd all around..  Beach Boys, Travis and The Doors.  We watch Singles... It was a good moment...

I look at his face.. his calm face.. I'm so glad he's here with me.. we talked.. then sumthing came up... he said his family are moving... it's been hard to accept that he and his family might migrate to Australia.. my heart was crushed to pieces..  suddenly I could NOT think.. my head was blank and I was dizzy... ironically.. he's gonna leave me

early this year I had make a vow to myself... if this time..(god forbids).. if he leave.. then I have to make a drastic change.. I would have to leave him too... that's the only way I could survive...  I could not go through the hurt and the pain ordeal that I have gone thru before.. it's freaking hurting my mind... I have to be strong and be prepared for the worse... I'm NOT ready for him to leave me now.. ohh plzzz not now

It's true when people say.. spend as much time as u can with ur love ones because u'll never know when u will get the chance to spend it with them again....  it sucks... but if there's any opportunity that I get to spend my time with CINTA.. I will take it... for now I have to neglect others and be with him.. I'm so sorry..... I choose to do this.. I have to take the risk....

For this time being, I'm gonna love my life as the way it flows.. I'm letting it flow with the water.. I don't know where it will lead... but I hope that it flows to the right direction... I'm floating and I feel good..